Friday, September 11, 2009


We have about one bajillion acorns in our back yard. Of course, this is only a rough estimate, but Mom says it is probably close to being right, and she should know because she took algebra and geometry in high school. The reason why we have so many acorns is that we have a humongous pin oak tree. We think this tree has been there for maybe 60 years or so, which is a really long time. The tree is very, very tall. One time Mom asked the tree trimmer man how tall he thought our tree was, and he said maybe 120 feet. And he should know because he has been all the way to the top and back down again.

Here are some good things about acorns:
1. Squirrels eat them, so squirrels live in our oak tree
and are always running through our yard
2. Sometimes we can catch the squirrels if we are very fast
and the squirrels are slow

And here are some bad things about acorns:
1. They get all over the ground and are hard to walk on
2. Sometimes they have sharp edges that can hurt your feet
3. If you get an acorn hull stuck on one of your toes, it makes you
hold up your foot and limp in a dramatic way
4. They are not very yummy to eat, unless you are a squirrel
5. The squirrels throw them down out of the tree and they can hit you
in the head
6. They can just fall off the tree and hit you in the head
7. They can also fall on the roof of the house and make a lot of noise
8. They have to be raked up, but that's Mom's problem and not mine

So there are more bad things about acorns than there are good things, as you can see.

The reason for acorns is to make more oak trees. This is the same as the reason for having puppies, which is to make more dogs. The way an acorn turns into an oak tree is that a squirrel buries it and then forgets to dig it up and eat it later. So then that acorn sprouts and grows into an oak tree unless it gets pulled up or mowed down.

At this time of the year, there are lots of acorns. They are already falling all over our roof and our patio and our yard. The situation will only get worse. I know this because I have seen it happen before.

Mom says there is nothing to be done about the acorns for now. She says we should just enjoy chasing the squirrels, which we do. They are always running across the top of our fence, which makes Mel bark. Mel is not a smart hunting dog because any smart hunting dog knows that you have to sneak up on your prey and then pounce. Or else maybe you can run it down, but first you have to sneak up close, if you can. Barking at your prey is a dumb thing to do. It's like saying "Hey, Squirrel! I'm a dog and I'm coming to get you!" Sheesh. You can tell that Mel didn't come from Africa, where the dogs are barkless and they know how to hunt properly!

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