Mom is abandoning us at Pooches' Paradise this morning so she can go out of town! She says it's only for one night, but I still don't like it. In fact, I hate it! She just shouldn't leave us like this. It's bad, bad, bad! And also it's stressful. And it causes us to have Separation Anxiety, which is an awful thing for a dog to have!
There! I said all my terrible, frantic things, and Mom says I should calm down now and write more reasonable stuff. As if! Well, I guess I should at least admit that it's been a really long time since Mom went off and left us like this. Usually she goes on a couple of trips every year, and sometimes we have to stay in a horrible Boarding Kennel for two or three whole weeks! When that happens, Gabe and I get fat because we don't get much exercise, but Barry gets skinny because he jumps around and barks all the time. And Mel gets hoarse because he barks the most of all.
When she goes away for a long time, Mom takes us to a place called Man's Best Friend. She takes us there even though she is a woman and not a man, so she doesn't like the name too much. At Man's Best Friend, they don't have doggy daycare, so we don't play with other dogs. We just have runs with an outdoor part, and also we get to go outside a couple of times a day to the play yard. It's cheaper to stay at Man's Best Friend than it is to stay at Pooches' Paradise because Pooches' Paradise has doggy daycare, so that makes it cost more. But since it's just for one night, we're all going to Pooches' Paradise, even Gabe. But Gabe doesn't get to play with the other dogs because he is Dog Aggressive. So he will just have to watch the rest of us play and have a good time.
The reason why Mom didn't go anywhere this year is because she doesn't have as much money as she used to have. And the reason for that is something called The Economy and something else called The Stock Market. I don't understand this kind of stuff, so I can't tell you anything else about it. Maybe you can look it up on Wikipedia, if you want to know more.
Anyway, Mom decided she could take this one very short trip and still have money left for important stuff like Dog Food. Where she's going is to a town called Fayette, and it's in Missouri, and it takes about two hours to drive there in a car. In Fayette, there is a school named Central Methodist University, and Mom used to study there. It's been a really long time since she went to school there, like 35 years (which is 245 years in dog years!). But there's some reunion kind of thing, so Mom might see some of the old people she went to school with.
Oh, and there's something called Homecoming, with a parade and a football game. Mom doesn't care about football, but she likes parades if there are some nice marching bands. Dogs don't usually like parades because they are noisy and scary, so I hope the parade doesn't come down the street where Pooches' Paradise is!
Okay, I gotta go now because Mom has to take us to the kennel and then she has to start abandoning us! I can't write in my blog tomorrow because they don't let the dogs use the computers at Pooches' Paradise. This seems like a stupid rule to me, but they are pretty strict about enforcing it. I will try to post another entry on Sunday. I hope you can wait until then!