Saturday, October 24, 2009

Jackalopes: a Warning!


While I was doing research on rabbits, I ran found some information about jackalopes that I think I should share with my readers.  I am worried that some of my doggy blog readers might try to catch and eat a jackalope, which would be a huge mistake.  This is because jackalopes can be AGGRESSIVE and DANGEROUS!  They are sometimes called "warrior rabbits," which is clearly a very scary name.

The way we came to have jackalopes is that pygmy deer mated with killer rabbits.  Jackalopes mostly live in western states such as Wyoming and New Mexico, but people have also seen them in other places.  So the point I want to make is that there are plenty of normal rabbits around for dogs to catch and eat, so there's no need to hunt jackalopes.


You may find this hard to believe, but some people say that jackalopes are mythical animals.  "Mythical" means that they don't really exist.  I think these people are simply in denial.  Every year there are jackalope sightings, and people take pictures of jackalopes, which they could not do if jackalopes didn't exist.  Maybe you have heard the saying that "the camera never lies."  Well, the camera does not lie about jackalopes!  Here's a photo of one, just to prove my point.


Jackalopes have also appeared in artwork, just like regular rabbits have.  Here is a drawing by the famous artist Albrecht Dürer.  He lived in Germany a long time ago, but he believed in jackalopes and even made a picture of one.






Sometimes jackalopes grow really, really big.  They are so big that a person can ride on them.  Any dog who would think of attacking such a big jackalope would have to be crazy -- or else maybe an Irish Wolfhound, because Irish Wolfhounds are very big dogs.

Jackalopes like to drink whiskey, so sometimes you can catch them by putting out some whiskey and then waiting until the jackalope gets drunk.  I don't recommend this method, though, because (1) most dogs are not old enough to buy whiskey legally, and (2) it still seems way too risky to mess with these vicious animals, even if they are drunk.

Another thing that jackalopes like is to sing.  Sometimes when cowboys are sitting around the campfire at night, singing, they have heard jackalopes singing their songs back to them.  This is really creepy!

Jackalopes are the most vocal right before a thunderstorm.  This is because they only mate while lightning is flashing.  The milk of a jackalope -- which is very hard to get, of course -- is supposedly a good medicine.  Also the milk is an aphrodisiac, but I'm not sure what that means.


Here is a useful tip that I found on the internet:  If you corner a jackalope or make it mad somehow, you can maybe keep it from killing you by falling to the ground and humming "Happy Trails to You."  If you don't know that song, then you may be out of luck.  I made Mom teach it to me, just in case I run into a jackalope by mistake.

There is a town in Wyoming called Douglas, and they like jackalopes so much that they voted to call themselves the "Jackalope Capital of the World."  Then they put up a great big statue of a jackalope, right there in town.  If you go to Douglas, Wyoming, you can buy a license to hunt jackalopes.  But the season for jackalope hunting is very short.  It is from midnight to 2:00 a.m. on June 31 every year.  I have to repeat, though, that I think it is a bad idea to try to hunt these vicious "warrior rabbits," even if you have a license!  And that's all I'm going to say about the subject.  You have been warned!

5 comments:

  1. Is this like an early April Foods commentary?? I've been called naive and gullible in the past.....so.....Piper....not sure (as in NOT) buying this blog!! :)
    Love, AP

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  2. oops....let's make that "Fools" instead of Foods!!

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  3. Piper, you sound like a real expert on this jackalope thing. Do you know if it's related to the Killer Rabbit of Caerbannog? Hoping you can answer this very important question about jackalope geneology!

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  4. Dear Aunt Patty,
    I hope you are not saying that I am naive and gullible! I have done my research and everything I wrote about jackalopes can be verified on the Internet, which only publishes True Things, as I'm sure you know. I am not trying to fool anybody. I am just trying to warn all my doggy and kitty friends about any possible dangers from jackalope hunting. Please listen to my advice and keep Dodi and Di inside where they will always be safe from any stray jackalopes that might wander into Missouri!
    Love, Piper

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  5. Dear Anonymous,
    I think the jackalope must definitely be related to the Killer Rabbit of Caerbannog! Or at least they had a common killer rabbit ancestor. I don't think that jackalopes have those sharp teeth like the Killer Rabbit of Caerbannog, but jackalopes don't really need such sharp teeth since they have those sharp, wicked antlers! Thank you for raising this very important question!
    Piper

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