Wednesday, July 28, 2010

My Big, Horrible, Scary Adventure!

OMG!  You will never believe what happened to me yesterday!  In fact, if I had known it was going to happen, I would never have got out of bed.  But the day started out just like any other day -- well, except that Gabe peed in Mom's bed again -- so I was fooled into thinking that it was going to be just a regular day.

So anyway, we got up and some of us went out to potty, and Mom gave us Breakfast of Dogs, and then some of us went out to potty again or else maybe for the first time or maybe just to see what was going on outside and if there were any cicadas to eat.  And I went out to pee and poop on the patio, kind of around on the side, and then when I went back to the door, it was LOCKED and I was left out there in the yard all by myself!

This exact same thing has happened to me twice before when Mom didn't know I was still in the yard and she closed the back door.  And both of the other times it was when we had our chainlink fence, so I was forced to climb over it and go around to the front of the house.  And when I got there, my brothers saw me through the front windows, and they got very excited and started barking and stuff.  So Mom came to see what was going on, and she found me at the front door, and she let me come back in the house.

Then after that, Mom was a little more careful about trying to make sure all the dogs were in the house before she closed the door.  And usually it's Mel who is the last one to come in because he likes to wander around in the yard looking for poop to eat, but sometimes it's me who's the last one.  And that's exactly what happened today because I was out there pooping, which Mom didn't realize.  So she shut the door, and she went upstairs to do a bunch of totally unimportant stuff like get dressed and look at her email, and meanwhile I was stuck out there in the back yard, all alone!

And right away, I started feeling panicky because I didn't know how to get back in the house, which is where I wanted to be.  So I tried scratching on the door, but nobody came to open it.  And then I tried whimpering and crying, but nobody heard me.  And after that, I realized that what I had to do was go around to the front door because that worked before when I got left out in the back yard.

Except back then we had that nice chainlink fence that was pretty easy to climb, and now we have a tall wood fence.  So I checked the gates, and they were closed and I pawed at them, and they didn't come open.  And then I saw that there was kind of a space under one of the gates, so I made myself very, very flat and skinny, and I wiggled my way out of the yard!

Then I trotted around to the front door, but nobody was there to see me!  My brothers weren't even looking out the windows, which is what they should have been doing because it's their job to guard the house.  So then I really didn't know what to do!  And I went down the driveway, and I sort of wandered down the street a little ways, like Mom and I do when she takes me out to potty, because I thought maybe if I did that, Mom would magically appear, but she didn't.

It was scary out in the street, and it made me nervous being there, and I felt horrible and scared like when I used to be a Poor, Homeless Dog in Houston.  But then one of our neighbors came out of her house because she saw me out in the street.  And this neighbor's name is Shirley, and she likes to rescue cats and do that trap, neuter, release thing with feral cats.  But she's a nice person, even if she likes cats better than dogs.  So she talked to me, but I didn't let her touch me because I don't know her very well, and she walked down to my house, and I followed her.

And meanwhile, Mom finished doing all her email and stuff, and she went downstairs, and she was going to give treats to all of us dogs, but there were only three dogs there!  So Mom thought she must have shut me up in the bedroom because sometimes she does that because I like to hide under the bed.  But when she went back upstairs to the bedroom, I wasn't there!  

Then Mom thought she must have left me out in the yard, which is exactly what she did, but when she looked out there, she didn't see me because I wasn't there anymore.  And Mom went and looked at both gates to make sure they were closed, which they were.  And just when she came back in the house, someone knocked on the door, and it was Aunt Shirley!  And Mom came to the door, and Aunt Shirley said "Is this one of your dogs?" and Mom said yes and that she had just figured out that she couldn't find me anywhere.  Then Mom came and picked me up, and she and Aunt Shirley decided I must have squeezed out under the gate.  And Aunt Shirley said I didn't look very happy wandering around out there.  Then Mom took me inside, and my horrible ordeal was over, and I spent the rest of the day resting up.  Whew!


  1. OMG!!!! It's like we live parallel lives. I got locked out yesterday morning too! It was awful. Mom took out the curly tails in the morning likes she usually does. (Dad usually takes out Pearl-petual motion the malinois before we go out.) And so I went over to the fence to say hi to the neighbor dogs. There used to be only one, but now there are two and I'm still getting to know the second one which is a Yorkie. So then when mom thinks we've had enough time, she calls us. And I hear her calling, but like I said, I was being neighborly and I think it's important to keep up social connections. So I didn't come running over to mom because I think she'll wait for me on account of me being so cute and special. BUT no, she takes the boyz in and closes the gate behind her and then does NOT come right back!!!

    She was gone a LONG time (like maybe 10-15 minutes) and when she finally decides to come get me, I was waiting for her at the gate. But, and here's the really, really awful part, she tells me that the other dogs had been fed and the kitchen was now ***CLOSED***. And so I didn't get the breakfast of the dogs, but the other dogs did. I really think that's unfair. I thought I had a better trained human.

    Your (starving) friend,
    Zest, superstar in training

  2. Dear Zest,
    I can't believe your mom locked you out of the house and would not give you breakfast, just because you were busy making important social connections! That is just too awful! I hope you have had a meal since then and are not wasting away to skin and bones because how can you be a superstar if you are just skin and bones?

    Guess what my mom did today! She put paving stones under the gate where I got out of the yard, and now there's hardly any space under the gate, so I don't think I can squeeze through there again. If I decide to go look for a nicer mom, you may have to come and help me escape. Maybe we should both try to find nicer moms, whaddya think?

    Your friend, Piper

  3. Yes my mom has fed me since then, but of course not enough. I may have to sneak some food, but now the humans are more vigilant because of that stupid article. Sometimes a dog's life isn't as easy as everyone thinks it is. I got treats tonigh, but that's because I had to teach a class tonight. Of course mom helps with that, but still, it's a busy sort of life.

    Paving stones, huh? I think it would be easier if your mom would just let you inside when you want to come in. What is wrong with these humans????


  4. LOL....not sure if I enjoyed the actual "blog" or the comments more today!! Of course, when I say enjoy....I do NOT mean about you being locked outside Piper!! Personally, I think your mom should give up one of her human treats to YOU!! Let's NOT tell her where that idea came wait....blame it on Dodi; he gets blamed for everything (rightly so I must add)! I do understand what you went through, as my Chihuahua (Chickie) was left outside a couple of times; and a nice neighbor came over to say, "do you know Chickie is running around outside the fence?" To this day, I do not know how she did that. Anyway...I hope today brings you much LESS stress!!
    Love, AP

  5. Dear Aunt Patty,
    I am feeling pretty much recovered from my horrible, scary adventure, but I am being careful not to go very far into the back yard, so that Mom will still see me and know that I am out there and not shut the door. Like, for instance, yesterday I peed on the patio steps right by the back door. After that, Mom sprayed the patio off with the hose, which made the patio all wet and icky, but at least I didn't get shut out of the house.

    We have found some of the neighbors' dogs out wandering around sometimes, too. One time we found a pekingese who got out because his gate was open, and twice we found Maggie, who lives behind us and likes to jump the fence.

    Love, Piper