These first ones are what you call homophones. You might have learned about this kind of word in grade school, and if so, you might remember that homophones are words that sound the same, but they have different meanings and spellings. Like for example, "meat" and "meet."
Okay, so here are some funny uses of homophones:
One sign of heat stroke is a staggering gate.
Yikes! Look out for those staggering gates! They're almost as dangerous as zombies!
My surgeon had a great bedside manor.
Well, he ought to be able to afford a really nice manor, with the amount he's charging you!
My dog has lost mussel mass.
Maybe he just got hungry and ate all the mussels!
And so, without further adieu....
Because saying adieu can be so sad!
These next ones are where a person used a word that was sort of like the one they should have used, but it is not the right word for what they meant to say.
He suffered a fractured sprint bone.
And you really can't sprint very fast when that bone is broken!
She was a very sick dog, but now she rules the roast.
This is my favorite one, because I'd really like to rule a roast someday!
I'm leaving a lot behind me as I tradition into the medical field.
I hope he is leaving behind a tradition of using the wrong word!
He died for injuries abstained in an automobile accident.
If only he had abstained from getting in the car that day, but who knew?
A deep-seeded truth is revealed.
And it has grown some really long roots!
He is getting his just desert.
I hope his desert has some pretty cactus plants in it!
I'm not going to heckle on the price.
It might be better to heckle the political speaker instead.
I don't even know who my descendants were 2,000 years ago.
But maybe your descendants 2,000 years in the future will know who YOU were.
A liter of basenjis is being trained for police work.
How many basenjis does it take to make a liter? I'm not very good at metric measurements!
Okay, well, that is all the funny word uses I have for you today. I hope you liked them. Maybe someday, after Mom collects more of them, I can write another blog entry on this topic.