Sunday, March 10, 2013


Today I am going to gripe about some words and phrases that I keep hearing humans use, even though there are other, more interesting words and phrases they could use if they would decide to.  In my opinion, people are just too lazy sometimes to think of better ways to say things.  But anyway, here's my list:

Window of opportunity.  Why is opportunity always outside a window?  Why can't it be outside a door or a gate or in the refrigerator?  I understand that opportunity is something that you might need to grab quickly, like for instance if your human leaves the door of the fridge open, and a nice, juicy steak is inside.  But my point is that there are plenty of things that open and close besides windows.

It is what it is.  Well, duh.  Of course it is.  I guess the point is you should just accept what it is and also you should realize that you can't change it, and then you should get on with your life (which is another phrase I get tired of sometimes).  USA Today voted "it is what it is" the #1 cliché of 2004, so I guess I'm not the only person who's tired of hearing it.

On the same page.  It seems like people can't talk about anything these days unless they are all on the same page.  This seems like a phrase that is out of date since people don't do much reading anymore.  Maybe it would be better to say that everyone should be watching the same HD cable TV show or reading the same text message.

• Reach out to.  This used to mean that you were helping somebody by reaching out your hand or maybe just giving them some encouragement.  And a lot of people still mean that when they are reaching out.  But lately, I have heard things like this:  "I will reach out to her and get her opinion."  This is a silly thing to say because reach out to does not mean communicate with, like by calling or emailing or asking somebody a question.  Like for instance, if a person was drowning, you would not reach out and ask "Would you like me to rescue you?"  No!  You would reach out your hand or a stick and pull them to shore.

The love of one's life.  This is a phrase that shows up all the time in obituaries, where people are always meeting the love of their lives and then staying married to them for 65 years or something like that.  But you don't hear about the people who thought they married the love of their lives, but then they find out they were wrong and they get divorced.  Or the love of someone's life who dies, and then the survivor finds another love of his or her life.  Can you have more than one loves of your life?  It's all very confusing.  But just in case you want to know, the love of MY life is eating!

Devastation after tsunami in Iwaki, Fukushima, Japan
Photo by ryuki_a_g

Devastated.  This used to be a really strong, dramatic word, but nowadays it gets used so much that it doesn't mean a whole lot.  Or at least that's how it seems to me.  The original meaning of devastate is to lay waste or destroy.  But now it seems like when almost anything happens to someone, that person is described as devastated.  I guess maybe that's the way they feel, but if a girl is devastated because she spills punch on her prom dress, is that the same as people who feel devastated after going through a tsunami or losing someone they really loved?

Well okay, now that I told you my opinion about these boring phrases, I will put them all together in a sad, boring little story.  I hope you will enjoy it.

Sam was devastated when he realized he had missed his window of opportunity by not reaching out to Sue with an offer of marriage.  If only they had both been on the same page when talking about their feelings for each other, but now it was too late.  "Oh well," he thought, "it is what it is.  I must suck it up and move on, even though I'm sure that Sue will always be the love of my life."

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